We Have a Court Date / Double Adoption!!!

I know I haven't blogged forever but it is so hard when we have this beautiful 3 year old in our home that is "our" son but not legally yet so I can't say too much about him or post pictures. Anyway we finally have a court date for our adoption and it is December 12th!!! Not only do we get to have our adoption that day but we are sharing the court room with my brother and his family who are adopting their foster son at the same time. Now I think that is pretty cool don't you???

Soooo...watch out because this momma will have lots of blogging to catch up on once I can post pictures!

15 Out Of 300

Our little man is getting ready to start special needs pre-school very, very soon. I am so very excited for him because we have used this school before for Jaxson and I know how much they love on the kiddos and what a good school it is. I am also very excited because the person in charge of the school is very excited about our little man and she is going to get him all kinds of adaptive things that he can use at school including a nice chair for him. We still don't have any adoptive equipment for him, not even a chair for him at our house yet due to the cost of everything adaptive but hopefully we will soon.

I was working on his paperwork today for school though and I had TONS of questions to answer. One of the forms had 300 questions on it about things he could do. As I was filling out the form I noticed that almost every answer was "no my child cannot do this". At the end of the form I decided to count how many he could do and it was only about 15. Honestly it hadn't even hit me until that moment what he should really be doing at his age. God gave me a special gift many years ago of looking past a child's "special needs" and seeing straight to their hearts. I don't spend my days thinking he can't say words, he can't drink out of a cup, he doesn't understand what "no" means simply because we have never had to tell him no. In the eyes of the school our little man can do very little. In the eyes of this momma I know that he has stolen many hearts already, he is teaching people that God can use you no matter what you can physically do. He may not be able to fight with his siblings but instead he gives them this amazing smile that makes them know he loves them unconditionally. He may not be able to ask me for something, but he has a way of letting me know when he needs things. He may not be able to do much compared to others his age but what he has to offer is a very rare gift that not many children have.

I just realized that I hadn't blogged since before our little man came home. He has been home since June 23rd and he has truly blessed our socks off!! Here is a sneak peak at our little man but I won't post any face pictures until the adoption is final (sorry, I know it's killing me too).

Cute Picture Day

These 2 precious sisters are as different as night and day but they love each other so very much and I love watching them together (when they are not fighting anyway).

The cool part about going to Michigan every other week for the last 2 months is the kids have gotten a lot of pool time and they are loving it! I just signed 5 kids up for swim lessons so next week they are really going to have fun.

Last but not least is a picture of our bundle of 5 right now. I can't show faces of the boys so I thought I would show this picture to give you an idea. It really is fun having 5 kids ages 5-8!

I wish I could share a picture of little Torry man but not yet :(  I promise that when the adoption is final (hopefully around Christmas) that I will drive you crazy with pictures of our precious angel!!!

5+4-2+1-1+1= ?

How often is it that you have to count your hand how many kids you have? I went to sign us up at the YMCA the other day and they asked how many kids I had and I honestly had to think about it for a minute.

Our 2 smallest foster children left so we were down to 5 kids. Torry came for a visit so then we were at 6 kids. I had to take Torry back yesterday so then we were back to 5 and tonight I have my niece so we are at 6 again.

I am so used to having a big family now that I can't handle the silence. I had a chance to spend the night all by myself in a hotel room last night and I just couldn't do it because I wanted my noisy family back.

I found out that our little Torry will be coming home forever next week and we are sooooo excited! I know people don't understand and I am so trying to understand them not understanding but I just don't. If we would say no to him we would be missing out on one of the most precious treasures that God has ever offered us. If you had someone offer you the most incredible gift you could ever imagine but it came with a little extra work would you turn it away? We understand that our life will change. We understand that Torry could live with us forever and he will require a lot of extra care. We also understand though that God put Torry on this earth for a very special purpose and for some reason God has given us the opportunity to parent this incredible child and we wouldn't turn him away for the world. If you don't understand that's fine but just rejoice with us that our baby is coming home!

Entertaining Angels

Having Torry around makes me think of Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 

Five months ago all Torry was is a cute picture on our computer, a complete stranger. Many people think we are crazy, many people have tried to stop us or discourage us from bringing him home but everytime I look in his eyes, this is the verse I think of.

For years I talked to Chris about the time I worked at a home for kiddos like Torry and he could never really understand how much kiddos like Torry could affect your heart until he met Torry. My amazing husband would have never dreamed in a million years of bringing home a child as special as Torry but now he couldn't imagine life without Torry.

There is something about Torry that makes the whole house just glow, love more and bring so many smiles. Torry has taught this house true team work, thinking of others before yourself, he has taught us how to be cheerleaders because you should see how we all cheer if he gives a us a "five" or he giggles (these things don't come easy for him).

I watch Torry at church and it's like he just knows he is there to worship God. Whenever christian music plays Torry immediately starts smiling, lifting his arms, and he tries to sing. This is not something learned.

I think if I ever get stopped and someone asks me what is "wrong" with him I may just have to say "nothing! He is made perfect what is wrong with you to not be able to see that."

This little man has blessed this house more than anyone could ever imagine. I hate the thought of taking him back tomorrow but very, very soon he will be here forever and we can't wait until that moment.

What A Week!

This week has just been beyond crazy. With 7 kids you have lots and lots of appointments and the foster systems just adds to that. I don't mind the appointments though because it gives some really good one on one or one on two time where the kids just jabber away.

This week we have learned way more than what we would have ever wanted to learn about trauma in children. We are blessed though that DCS has hired us a counselor to train us in parenting hurt children. A couple of days ago I spent 9 hours with a caseworker and I learned so much about the kids in foster care, how the system works and sooooo much more.

I learned that in our county (we have a very rural county with not a lot of people compared to other counties) there are now only about 4-5 foster families. The problem is that there are 7 caseworkers and each one carry a load of 16-20 somethings kids. Do the math and that is not nearly enough foster families!

Every single day people ask me how I do it. Let me ask you a question...how do you not do it?

A long time ago I asked God to open my eyes to the things that broke his heart. Maybe that's why I couldn't continue to make excuses. When I asked God to do this my eyes were opened beyond anything I could imagine. This week my eyes have been opened to things that I would have never dreamed about a year or 2 ago.

It's not easy being a parent or a foster parent. The truth though is that I am finally at a place in my life where I can put my selfish desires aside because I can no longer sit on the sidelines watching. I wish I would have done this a long time ago.

When we signed up for foster parenting I told the caseworker "bring me the special needs kiddos but don't call me for the extremely hurt child." Let's just say that things have gone the complete opposite of what I asked for. God has now given me a huge heart for the things I didn't think I could handle and he is also giving us the tools to take on everything that he brings us.

There are so many hurt children needing someone to love them. I can't even begin to tell you the changes that happen in a child when they start feeling safe for the first time in their life. Adoption and fostering parenting is HARD but if everyone says "I just couldn't do it" then who will be there to show these children the love of Jesus? Trust me I was one of those that said "I just couldn't do it."

Our Crazy Life

Wow! I had no idea what I was getting into when we signed up to be foster parents. How can life be so full of blessings and trials all at the same time? You go to classes and you learn a lot but you know nothing until you are living right in the middle of it.

First of all I had no idea how much fun have 7 kids would be! I also didn't realize how having so many kids meant that at all times at least 2 or 3 kiddos are smiling and making you laugh no matter what else is happening in the house.

I didn't realize that God would give me the same momma heart for kids that were here just for a season as he does for the kiddos that we consider "ours". I didn't realize that there is a real momma bear in me ready and willing to fight at a moments notice for what I feel is right for each child.

I didn't realize that even as hard as it is at times that being foster parents was a missing piece to our life for so long before we finally got brave enough to say yes.

If you hop over to Linny's blog you can read a story about one of our little treasures.

I have to share this picture just because it is sooo stinkin cute of the little boy God blessed us with from the other side of the world.

Last but not least a picture of my favorite man in the whole world!!!

Being A Family Of Nine

It has been almost 2 weeks now that we have been a family of 9 (10 once Torry comes home) and we are actually doing really well. To be honest I think we are doing better than we did when we were a family of 5.

The kiddos always have someone to play with. If you get frustrated with one sibling you just go find another one. Do you know how fast a house can get cleaned when you have 9 people helping?

We were even ready for church 30 minutes early the other morning and this has never happened when we were a family of 5. We even did 9 showers/baths before church and still was ready early.

We even managed to take everyone out to eat the other night and grocery shopping and we got many comments on how well behaved our children were. The waitress at the restaurant even said that after one of the kids leaving her a nice size puke mess to clean up (too much chocolate milk).

The downfall to having a family of nine is the amount of laundry we now have!

WOW! Have My Eyes Been Opened

I'm sitting here at 5:30 in the morning because my head is just spinning in circles from this last week. A week ago we were cuddling our little one to be and this morning I sit very much overwhelmed about a lot of things.

To be honest last night I was TICKED OFF!!! Thankfully a friend called just at the right moment and let be just be angry and vent.

I really can't go into much detail but with many hours at the hospital this weekend, many hours with the director of our Child Protective Services, many hours of learning about situations I AM SICK!!! It is not right that kids should have to go through what they do. It makes me who has lived a sheltered life angry, confused and just wondering how anyone could get to a point like these parents in the system do (I'm not just talking about the placement we have now).

On the good side God has blown me away by using his people to come together to help us out this weekend with making phone calls, sitting with a sick little one (who has stolen everyone's heart), bringing us clothes and coming home to someone that filled our kitchen with milk, eggs, bananas and sooooo much more (and these wonderful little cake balls that was perfect after such a long crazy day.

God showed me that the foster care system is a team effort. Not only did our local child Protective Service be there for me at a moments notice the director took her Saturday to go sit with me at a children's hospital a couple of hours away so that I could have a break when needed. I was so thankful to have this time to sit and talk with her, cry with her, and learn about the system.

These workers are so overwhelmed it is just crazy! I had no idea until I just spent the weekend with 2 caseworkers on what they really have to do in their job. If you want to do a random act of kindness this week  I have a couple of ideas:

1. Send flowers or a gift basket or maybe just gift certificates to your local Department of Child Services and just leave a note thanking them and encouraging them for what they do. I honestly think they have one of the hardest jobs there is!

2. Go buy some new clothes, diapers, shoes and pajamas and drop them off at your local Child Protective Services or local emergency room for kids entering the system. Let's just say that many kids come in needing cleaned up very badly and they need something to wear right away. I can't even tell you the look on these kids faces when they get something NEW.

3. Just call their office and ask if they need anything.

4. Sign up to be a foster parent (yes, I am even saying this with being overwhelmed at the moment).

Man...if churches and Child Services could work as teams like what happened this weekend then things could run a lot smoother for everyone involved. Honestly if God wouldn't have placed his people into action this weekend and people willing to say yes to God this weekend I don't know what would have happened.

Now on a side note, please pray for some broken little hearts in our home. We have a lot to figure out over the next couple of weeks, a lot of appointments to make and a lot of prayer needed!

We Grew Again!!!

Oh my goodness, we must be crazy but even if we are, we are truly blessed. Yesterday I woke up with this feeling that I needed to get our empty beds ready because I felt we would be getting a call very soon. I got them all ready not thinking much about it until I get a phone call at around 2:00 today.

The phone call went something like this "You have 3 kids right" they went on to ask if I had 1 or 2 empty beds. I told them depending on the situation we could possibly take 2 but that our little T man coming was first priority but we were happy to fill our home until he came home. She then said "well, what would you think about taking in 4 because we really want to keep them together if we can." To be honest my first thought was "NO WAY" we have an adoption happening how can we take 4.

Right as I was thinking no God reminded me that he had whispered to me yesterday telling me to be ready. I told them we would take them for now but little Mr T comes first so if he comes home before they go home then something will have to be worked out. So for now we once again have 7 children running around :)

If you can please pray for these little broken hearts who really have no idea what is happening.

Playing At The Beach In March!!!

This morning we went to my sisters church because my niece and nephews were getting baptized. We then went for Chinese and let me tell you that we had one very excited little boy.

Since we are just a family of five at the moment (we never know when that next call is going to come) we decided to go hiking and then it was nice enough out that the kids got to kick their feet around in the lake. I can't believe this is MARCH!!!

The kids had so much fun! I can't wait until our little man Mr. T can join us and we can stick his little feet in the water.

Speaking of little Mr. T if anyone knows where we could buy used adaptive equipment like positioning seats and things can you please leave me a comment.

What did you do on this beautiful day?

We Met Our Future Baby!!!

We are over the moon in love! We were invited to go meet our baby this weekend so we left the "twins" with mom and dad (so our first meeting wouldn't be too crazy) and Amaya, Chris and I left for our 4 hour drive to go see him.

We were excited and nervous all at the same time and let's just say that God blessed our socks off once again. The first meeting on Friday couldn't have been more perfect. We walked in to see this beautiful little boy and his caretaker was amazing and made us feel so comfortable. His caseworker was also amazing! We spent 2 1/2 hours with him and we got to watch him eat, we watched him play and we got lots of cuddle time. We also learned that his needs are not nearly what we expected them to be. He will not ever be able to walk and may not ever be able to talk but he is so easy going and really not that hard to care for. We thought he may need nursing care when we weren't around but he won't as long as we can find a few people willing to just help us out when needed.

Today his caretaker brought him to a mall and then she let us just have him (the caseworker stayed with us) and we got to love on him for 3 hours. He loved the lights and the sounds of the mall and he was just all smiles.

We walked around for awhile, went to see some butterflies in an exhibit and then we went for some playtime in a nice playroom they had. It was so good to give him some time to lay on the floor and stretch out. Amaya also had a blast in the playroom.

Anyway we are head over heels in love, including his big sister Amaya!!! We have no idea how long it will take to get him home but the caseworker is hoping it will just take a couple of months. We will go see him again sometime next month and we will take everyone with us then.

I am so thankful to www.adoptuskids.org  for helping us to find our little one!!!

The caseworker said they need adoptive families so bad. Are you ready to say YES yet? Sooooo many kids need a loving home.

20 Years Ago...

I worked at a place that changed my life forever. I worked at a place that God showed me a love you could never explain. Twenty years ago God taught me that he gives EVERY SINGLE PERSON in life a purpose!!! When I had to leave I left part of my heart, I was young and needed to move back home).



I remember sitting at one of the funerals crying and begging God to someday let me be a parent to a child that other people had a hard time seeing their true purpose. I prayed for him to please let one of these true treasures that not many people really know about be my son or daughter. Not that I ever want to sit at a funeral of a child again let alone my child but I wanted a chance to have one of God's special treasures that I never had to walk away from again. It was then that God gave me a peace knowing that someday, someday I would be holding one of these treasures again that couldn't walk or talk.

God's Timing Is Truly Amazing!

Today was the big court day for our little guest. The life of a foster parent is just crazy let me tell you. We didn't know waking up this morning if he would be staying with us or leaving. I had to have all his bags packed and ready to go so that if the judge said he could go live with dad then dad would come straight from court to pick him up.

Court stresses me out let me tell you, but it's all part of being a foster parent. The judge decided that our little guest could go live with dad (dad is from out of state). Our little guest was very excited and I am happy for them.  We woke up with 4 kids this morning and we are down to 3 tonight.

The very cool thing is that on the day that one leaves I get an email saying that we will be able to meet our new son very, very soon!!! How cool is that for God's timing?

Not only do we get to meet our new son soon but we now wait for that next foster call to see who God has waiting to spend a season of life with. That season could be a day or a year only God knows.

I truly love being a foster parent and I really hate that we waited this long to do it. Our kids love doing it too and get so excited to see who the next call will be for.

First Time This Year

This weekend we had the most amazing time. We have some land that someday we will build a very special house, made for a very special purpose. You can read more about our God's land here. This land is our peaceful place. Do you have one of those places you go to and you can just feel God's presence all around you?

One thing the other blog post doesn't tell is that God also told Chris and I several years ago that when we build this house that it needed to be built accessible for someone in a wheelchair. We had no idea why but we knew that this is what God wanted us to do. Now we know exactly why, God already knew about our little precious son waiting on us. Make sure you stop and listen to God's little hints!

I can't believe it was warm enough in March to play in the creek but it was and we had fun. Here are some pictures from our many hours at the land this weekend.

Love One Another

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 


If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 


Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 


This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.


                                     1 John 3:16-20

Off To School!

Do you remember your little ones first day of school? Remember how excited and full of emotions you were? Little did I know I would have those same emotions this morning with our little guest but at the same time my heart is breaking for his mom who didn't get to see her baby get on the bus the first day of school. I took pictures for her but still my heart breaks for her.

I told Chris this morning that the feelings I have had being a foster parent is not what I expected to have. I don't know what I expected to feel but to be honest it breaks my heart for a momma not to be able to hold her baby, not to be able to see his firsts at things. Yes...we have a job of protecting him right now but at the same time in my head I am cheering the mom on and praying she does what she needs to do to get her baby back because he needs his mom and she needs him.

Anyway our little guest was super excited this morning and he kept asking me over and over to take pictures of his backpack. I can't wait to hear about his day after school!

I know it has been awhile since I shared pictures of our crazy kids so here is a picture that I totally love. Hopefully next week we will meet our new son and have a picture of all 4 of our kids (sorry you won't get a face picture of him though until the adoption goes through).

If you have thought about being a foster parent just stop thinking and make the call!

Having a Sibling that is Disabled

In bringing home our little one, one question we get asked is what about our other kids. To be honest I feel like this is a crazy question but at the same time I understand not many people have been close to a child with a severe special need. If you have not been close to a child with a sever special need you wouldn't understand.

I know from working with many special kiddos in the past that what it will do for my kids is teach them something beyond incredible that they couldn't learn any other way. They will soon learn a love like they have never know and so much more.

I was reading a blog this morning and I loved how they put it:

 A child with a disabled sibling is anything but typical. I have borrowed (and adopted) the term “typically developing child” from my good friend John Knight. It is clear and accurate language in the proper context. But the more time I spend with siblings in families touched by disability, the more I realize these kids are anything but typical (per se). I have watched in awe as siblings have stepped into difficult situations rivaling the heroic status of soldiers, firefighters and police officers. I have seen awkward, backward teenagers discover their extraordinary gift and calling as compassionate caregivers. And many times when I began to feel pity towards one of these typical siblings I have felt the faint nudge of the Lord scold me with, “Pay attention, I’m doing something incredible in the life of this child as I conform them into the image of my Son.”

No school, public or private, can teach the deep lessons of life like the school of disability. I can say without hesitation that my sons will be better men because of their relationship with their disabled brother. Living with Jake has not only prepared them for the worst of trials, it has equipped them with a profound sensitivity to recognize the intentional hand of God in the smallest, most unsuspecting, details of life.


What an extraordinary gift their brother has been!


These lessons are not even close to being exhaustive. They are ongoing and ever developing all around us. The desperate search and refreshing discovery of each nugget of wisdom brings strength to our family and equips us to be poured out into the lives of others.


If you are reading this and happen to be new to the community of disability, welcome to the family! It is a wonderful, glorious, breathtaking journey that will open your eyes to the most precious things in life as it draws you closer and closer to the most precious truth for eternity.

I love this special needs blog and if you or someone you know has a child with special needs please share this blog with them by clicking here.

Great Video

OK, I must be honest and admit that I don't know much at all about Rick Santorum and I have no opinion on him in a political way but this video touched my heart and I wanted to share. Please take the time to watch and hear about how precious special needs children are.

Watching a Flower Bloom - The Life of a Foster Parent

Our guest has been with us for 11 days now. When I first picked him up, I picked up this little boy full of energy who didn't even care I was a stranger. The next several days were not easy when we went anywhere. This little one was pretty good at our house but when we went out it was a whole different story. Honestly I prayed at times asking God to help me through the next few minutes because I did not know what to do with a child this full of energy.

Little by little he started to learn that we have rules for his own safety, we have boundaries and we respect those around us. The last couple of days you can just tell he is relaxing and not so tense all the time and then yesterday this is what happened:





I took my Girl Scouts on a field trip to the aquarium (it was a family field trip) and our little guest did an amazing job!

Going into foster care I had so many fears but I truly had no idea what a blessing it would be to watch the transformation in these children. Watching them is truly like standing in front of a flower watching it blossom into something beautiful. If you had thought about being a foster parent but let fear get in your way please push that fear aside.

We Are Paper Pregnant!!!

We are sooooo, sooooo very excited!!! We are now paper pregnant for the most beautiful little boy!

I am afraid to put too much info on the blog or a picture directly on here yet, but I will tell you how to find him.

CLICK HERE, and look for the little one that his name starts with a T.

Also just in case you have always wanted to adopt but didn't think you had the money, we found out this adoption will not cost us anything! Did you hear that? The cost of bringing this child home is LOVE and LOVE only.

We found our little one on www.adoptuskids.org and there are many more children waiting for families so go look around and see if your child is waiting for you.

A Very Important Package

Finally! Our package arrived that holds the file of our future son (if God chooses to keep the doors opening). Honestly it didn't even matter what that file said because we already knew in our hearts that he is ours to move forward on no matter what his future holds.

I have not been this excited since the moment we got Jaxson's file. We now have to find out what our next step is but hopefully in 2-3 weeks we will be able to go meet our future son. I can't give out anymore details yet but he is listed on adoptuskids.org, he is between the ages of 0-6 and did I mention he is the most beautiful boy on the site???

Ok, so go check out the site and come back and tell me who you think it is. If you already know PLEASE don't give it away!!!  Click HERE to go guess.

I am a very excited paper pregnant momma so make my day and leave me a comment :)

We Got A Call!!!

Let me tell you that if you are signing up to be foster parents then you had better be OK with living a fly by the moment life, lol. We went almost 3 months without a call sooooo we started checking into adopting through adoptuskids.org. I sent for that "file" for a little treasure on the site and a month later heard that we had been chosen to be the possible adoptive placement for this child. This child has some real needs so they are wanting us to be very cautious before making a decision so we are waiting on some more paperwork. Yesterday I went to check the mail to see if it happened to be here (even though I really didn't expect it to come yet) and nothing yet.

I went home for just a few minutes and the phone rang. It was DCS asking if we would take the placement of one and possibly 2 kiddos. I told him yes, I called the person in charge to find out when I needed to pick them up and 45 minutes later I was getting ready to head home with our little guest. As I was leaving they said "STOP, do you want to take the other one too" and I said "sure let me go get the car seat out of the car." I went to get the car seat walked back in and they said "sorry, we just need you to take the one we were wrong."

Did I tell you you need to be very flexible if you are foster parents???

Our kids are very excited to have an extra one around for awhile. I can't share too much info but I thought I would give you a sneak peak ;)

The child has more energy than Jaxson and talks more than Jaxson and I truly thought that was impossible! We are having fun though and the child is getting used to how we do things around here.

You Start To Feel A Tug At Your Heart...

Everywhere around you people are starting to talk about adoption. You start praying about whether God wants you to adopt. You start checking out the websites that people are spreading all over Facebook, at work and at church of children waiting for families. You start seeing beautiful little faces wondering why in the world would anyone ever abandoned or give up a child.

You look at many, many pictures and then for some reason or another one little face stands out in a crowd of millions of waiting children. One little face for some reason caught your eye more than any other face in the sea of waiting children.

You go look through some other kids but then you go back to that one face that caught your eye. The next day and the day after you catch yourself going to look for that same little child again just to see if they are still there. You think in the back of your mind " I could bring that little one home, I could be their mom." You might even start praying about whether that little one might be yours but there are so many good excuses on why now is not the time.

A couple weeks have gone by and you are still checking in to see if that little one has found a family yet. Finally you get brave enough to ask for the file of that child. If you have adopted before you know the file,the file that tells the child's history and what their future may hold. Finally! You go to open your email and there it is right in front of your eyes and you wonder what is going to be in that file. You start to read and the all of the sudden you stop holding your breath, you start saying things like "oh that poor child" or "that type of child is for someone else I couldn't care for those needs." Even though everything in you told you that was your child before opening the file now you choose to walk away.

Those treasured little files that you think will tell you what your future will hold with that child mean NOTHING! Only God knows what tomorrow holds not a file that has some scary medical language attached. If God would have given us a peak into Jaxson's file before we knew in our hearts he was ours we probably would have been one of the people who looked away and moved onto a child with a less scary need. Little did that file know that when we got home with Jaxson he was one of the healthiest children we had ever seen.

When your pregnant,
 God doesn't hand you a file telling you what your future may hold. God places in your heart a love so strong for a little one that it wouldn't matter what the future holds all that matters is that God gave you that child.

Please, if your looking into adoption look past the file and ask for God's direction not some scary words on a piece of paper!

PS All the kiddos pictured here are waiting for families and can be found on www.adoptuskids.org

Amaya's Special Craft Project

Last night Amaya was working on a craft. Amaya makes stuff constantly so I didn't think much about it at the time other than she told me she was making our family. This morning I found her finished project on the table and it about brought me to tears.

Amaya explained to me that this is our family. This is Daddy, Mommy, Amaya, Paige, Jaxson, a little special someone I pray I can share with you about soon, and 2 foster kiddos. Amaya said this was our family all together :)

Amaya is so stinkin precious and I am so blessed to be able to call her my daughter!

OK God...I'm Waiting!

I know it has been awhile since I blogged. We have been busy, but to be completely honest not in the way I want to be busy. It's not that we haven't been having fun, working hard and nothing exciting happening but it's not the busy I had planned for.

You see, I think it was about 5 years ago that God spoke clearly to a friend and I at the same time that he wanted to use us in the orphan ministry. We jumped in and allowed God to break our hearts many, many times over. Through that pain of serving God in a place where you see children hurting and Christians not answering the call, God taught us faith and he brought Jaxson home. God also taught me that even though I have a plan that doesn't mean it's his plan. After Jaxson came home we knew we weren't finished bringing kiddos home. How could we be finished when God blessed us with extra space, extra love and there are millions and millions of kiddos just waiting for someone to say "yes God I'll answer the call to adopt?"

For 3 years though of my heart feeling empty God had us in a time of waiting. I spent my days fighting for kiddos needing homes, crying that we couldn't bring them home and praying that God would fill our home up. To be honest I don't know if it was God putting us in a time of waiting or if it was us being too scared to take a leap of faith and follow God. You see I had all of these excuses of why it wasn't God's timing. It took a picture of one of the most beautiful little babies I have ever seen (my brothers foster child) to kick us in the butt and make the call to be foster parents.

I didn't have to spend my days crying anymore with an empty heart because we finally let God take the lead even though it scared us to death. We started paperwork, took classes, talked to our kiddos about how we didn't know who God would place in our home or how long they would be here for. My goal was to be licensed by Christmas but God has given me a friend that kicks me in the butt when needed and she said we needed to be done by Thanksgiving. There was a reason for that because God had 4 precious little angels that needed a place to stay for a short time and if we wouldn't have been licensed earlier than my goal we wouldn't have been able to have our socks blessed off with their visit here.

We haven't had any kids since then and the wait is so, so hard. What makes it even harder is you are excited about getting kids in your home but at the same time you know that the kids have to come from a pretty bad situation to be in your home. It's hard to wake up to 4 empty beds every morning. It's hard wondering every where you go if you will get the call. It's hard waiting when you know so many kids are waiting around the world for a home! So...we are in a time of waiting right now. We could get that call in 5 minutes or months down the road. So for now this has to be my verse to keep me going: