Sunday, August 16, 2009

How?

How do parents let go of their children even when you know it's the best thing for them? Really, I am sitting here crying right now (doesn't help that the dogs kept us up all night last night) just thinking about having to let Amaya go tomorrow. I thought I was doing good until Chris said something and I just burst into tears.

I know she is ready and she is so excited. Honestly, Amaya does not have one nervous bone in her body and she is ready to learn everything there is to learn in the world. This morning I told her tomorrow was the day and she said "Mom, I have waited so long for this day."

I even ordered her a special book to read to her today but after reading it Chris and I agreed that we couldn't read it to her because it talks about not having to be scared your first day. There is nothing in Amaya that makes her think she could be scared tomorrow so we don't want to make her think there could be a reason she should be scared.

It's me that is having the hard time. To the school she is just another child but to me she is the child I cried and prayed for, for 4 years before God gave her to us.

OK, I can't see anymore through the tears so just pray for me tomorrow and pray that she will have the most amazing day ever that she has dreamed about for so very long. Good thing it's nap time so I can get a good cry in. Amaya is out with her daddy right now so hopefully I get gain control over my tears before she sees me like this.

3 comments:

Goins Gang said...

Sarah,
I'm sure that can't be easy!!
I will be praying for you, and for Amaya to have a good day!
Will you take her picture?
I love you!
Diane

christina said...

Oh, I wish I lived closer! I would bring coffee and all of my boys to your house. The insanity of my rowdy little ones would cause you to forget your sweet daughter had gone to school. {grin} I love you and you should have full confidence in God's ability to care for her...and you. :) He is so faithful! I kept myself busy by baking cookies for Sam and I to share after he got home from school. We talked and ate, talked and ate. It was heavenly! Praying for you, friend!

Tony and Rett said...

Sarah,

She will NOT just be another child in the crowd to the school. She will be another individual. Another gift a parent loaned us for the day. Since the girls came home, I have a whole new perspective and these children are precious cargo. Not that they weren't special before, but they're a little more special now.

Her teachers will love on and nurture her. They will see her for the smart, funny little girl that she is. They will challenge her and push her and celebrate with her. They will learn all of her quirks and mannerisms. They will teach her. They will LOVE HER!

Rest easy, she'll be home in just a few hours and will want to tell you all about day and you'll see the experiences through her eyes.

So proud of you for offering her what you didn't have. It's a big mommy step! AND for raising her in such a way to be excited about school!!

Love you, friend!