I think I have touched on this in the past but I was discussing it with a friend this morning and I believe God wanted me to come post about it.
I am going to get real in this post so some family members reading this are probably in for a big shock but I believe God wants me to be real so here it goes.
I have been a Christian my entire life. I have a problem though and my problem is I can read and read the Bible and I have a horrible time comprehending what I read. In August of 2006 God told me one day that He had something BIG planned for me and it was time I got prepared for it. The problem with that was that I knew somehow that being prepared meant that there was stuff in the Bible that I needed to know and I had to admit to someone that even though I had been a Christian for 32 years I had a hard time even remembering basic Bible stories. I was so embarrassed by this how could I ever ask someone for help?
One day I stood in the kitchen crying uncontrollably and God picked up the phone, placed it in my hand and dialed the number of a dear lady in our church. How do I know God picked up the phone? I know because I did not have the strength to do it. I was crying so hard I could hardly talk to her on the phone. I explained to her my situation and told her God needed to prepare me for something big, I had no idea what but I needed help and I needed help now.
This wonderful lady did not make me feel bad at all but she knew there was a reason God had me call her that day and she took me under her wing and started meeting with me and another lady who had felt the same way but had felt too ashamed to tell anyone.
There were 2 very important things I learned from her. The first thing I learned was that God called ordinary people to do extraordinary things. God took people just like me who felt ashamed of not knowing the scripture well enough and he used those people. The second most important thing I learned was this scripture:
36(A) Then Gideon said to God, "If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, 37behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said." 38And it was so. When he rose early next morning and squeezed the fleece, he wrung enough dew from the fleece to fill a bowl with water. 39Then Gideon said to God,(B) "Let not your anger burn against me; let me speak just once more. Please let me test just once more with the fleece. Please let it be dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground let there be dew." 40And God did so that night; and it was dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground there was dew. Judges 6:36-40
I could not believe this when the lady taught me about laying out the fleece. Was it really that easy to get an answer from God? She told us that next time we had something we needed answered to try it and see what happened. Guess what, it worked!
About a month or so before I learned about this God showed me part of his plan for me. God showed me that he wanted me to help in starting a orphan ministry at church. Through working on that ministry I found (OK family this is where you are about to be shocked) an agency that had these beautiful, beautiful children from Ethiopia waiting for families. We were definitely not planning on adopting at the time. On this listing of children was this group of 4 boys ages 2,4, 8 and 12. Something in these boys eyes just made me wonder if they were ours. I didn't say anything to Chris yet because he would have thought I was mad (so I thought). One day Amaya saw me looking at the boys along with many other children on the page but she pointed right to them and ask me if we were going to bring them home. Finally I showed Chris the boys and told him what Amaya had said. Chris decided we needed to pray about this and we prayed and I had the lady and my friend in my group pray. We decided to call to get a video of the boys. Chris said to me that since we had just talked about this fleece thing that maybe we needed to use it on this. Chris and I both laid out the fleece asking God for different things and God answered no to both of us. At first we had truly felt these were our children but when God clearly answered both of us we felt so at peace.
The second time we tried this there was some land we were wanting to buy. We had driven past this land for months and months praying asking God if this is what he wanted for us. Chris kept telling me it wasn't time. Chris decided to lay out the fleece to God on this decision too (probably to get me off his back about it). Chris would not tell me what he ask God because he did not want me to try to get that thing to happen, Chris wanted to know for sure it was from God and not his impatient wife. Well weeks and weeks went by and nothing. I drove Chris crazy asking him if God gave him the yes yet. I didn't even ask him if God had told him no because I wanted a yes so bad. I was there when it happened, God told Chris YES it was time. Actually at the time I thought Chris was being extremely rude to our neighbor but the truth is he was in shock because God had clearly said YES it is time. As soon as Chris told me, after I gave him a lecture about being rude, I ran for the phone to call the realtor.
God gave us that land right before we needed it. Without that land we would not have had the net worth we needed to adopt Jaxson. It was in God's timing and not ours, God already knew the plans he had for us.
My point is this that if you have something that is driving you crazy, a question that needs an answer try this. Try letting God give you the answer instead of you trying to make the right answer. God may so no but maybe that's because He's getting ready to say yes to something even bigger and maybe he will say YES it is time.
I truly believe God wanted us to be willing to take those 4 boys (we are different than a lot of people but that's almost insane for 2 people that like a calm lifestyle) for him to get us where we needed to be to accept the beautiful child he had waiting for us. These were the easiest decisions in our lives because we truly let God decided instead of us jumping in and making the decision. It really is that easy, just ask.
PS It doesn't mean God will answer you in a day though, it could take weeks, months or even years.